This cake has a couple of stories—well, actually, “layers” of stories.
I first heard of red velvet cake when I was way little, less than 10 years old, and the recipe called for seven bottles of red food coloring. Of course, what kid would not want to make that? And, because of the seven bottles of red food coloring, my mom didn’t think it was a good idea. So the red velvet cake didn’t get baked.
A couple weeks ago, we were watching the Food Network (a long time favorite). Bobby Flay and The King of Cakes were having a red velvet cake bake-off. Greg had never heard of red velvet cake, so I told him my old story about wanting to make it since I was young.
I seldom go to the staff meeting at my job because I don’t work on Thursdays. Once a month, there is a birthday party and potluck at the staff meeting. My dear friend, Sandra, asked if I was coming to her “birthday party” (actually, staff meeting) this week, so I said of course I was. Sandra announced early that she was expecting a birthday cake at the potluck, so being the excellent friend that I am, I expansively volunteered to bring the birthday cake, and wrote “birthday cake-Elaine” in large, black letters all the way across the sign-up sheet with a Sharpie, as the pen wouldn’t work because I had touched the sign-up sheet so many times with greasy hands, all the while loudly and exuberantly proclaiming that no one else should bring a cake!
I effusively exclaimed to Greg that I was “making Sandra a red velvet cake for her birthday”; it’s Christmas, you know, and the cake is red. This prompted his recollection that I hadn’t made him a birthday cake in August, or last year, or the prior year, etc. My guilty conscience turned out to be a good thing, as I have no experience making red velvet cakes. Greg got his birthday cake four months late, but the “practice” cake was delicious nonetheless.
Now, for the last 50 years, I have been taking the lazy way out in making cakes, happily and thoughtlessly pouring cake batter into 9” x 13” pans instead of making layer cakes, with the philosophy “I’m not foolin’ with layer cakes”—it’s a cake, we’re just eating it anyway.
At any rate, I learned some important things about layer cakes. They have to be cut off totally flat to stay together and not slide off the layer below. But, it is even better to cut the tops off a little concave, which I could have been practicing even when I didn’t need a layer cake. You will end up cutting off one-third of the cake, so it might be good to make two cakes, so there are extra layers to work with. You can either throw away the trimmed off cake, or you can recycle it as chopped up cake and eat it at every meal (which is the method we used as we never throw away food). Sometimes it takes half a century to learn simple baking tips. And, red velvet cakes are indeed worth the wait; the batter is shocking, atomic red. And, it is a good thing to make your husband a birthday cake every year, preferably a layer cake. And, this cake really has a short-cut and takes only two bottles of red food coloring. And I made up my own frosting recipe because I couldn’t find a recipe that was just right. And this will take every plate, pan, knife, fork, cookie sheet, and bowl you have before the cake is done (Greg washes the dishes at this house); plus three hours to cut the layers, trim the layers, and measure the layers; admire your cutting and trimming ability and after every layer, ask your husband if he doesn’t think you can really trim, cut, and measure cakes; make the frosting; stick the layers together; and carefully carry the cake plate which is extremely heavy and slippery, so that photographs can be taken.
The cake has not yet been presented to Sandra. Hopefully, there are no mishaps from my house to the car to the clinic via the freeway, which is another horrible story, and from my car to the staff meeting. Wish me luck! And, Happy Birthday, Sandra!
I first heard of red velvet cake when I was way little, less than 10 years old, and the recipe called for seven bottles of red food coloring. Of course, what kid would not want to make that? And, because of the seven bottles of red food coloring, my mom didn’t think it was a good idea. So the red velvet cake didn’t get baked.
A couple weeks ago, we were watching the Food Network (a long time favorite). Bobby Flay and The King of Cakes were having a red velvet cake bake-off. Greg had never heard of red velvet cake, so I told him my old story about wanting to make it since I was young.
I seldom go to the staff meeting at my job because I don’t work on Thursdays. Once a month, there is a birthday party and potluck at the staff meeting. My dear friend, Sandra, asked if I was coming to her “birthday party” (actually, staff meeting) this week, so I said of course I was. Sandra announced early that she was expecting a birthday cake at the potluck, so being the excellent friend that I am, I expansively volunteered to bring the birthday cake, and wrote “birthday cake-Elaine” in large, black letters all the way across the sign-up sheet with a Sharpie, as the pen wouldn’t work because I had touched the sign-up sheet so many times with greasy hands, all the while loudly and exuberantly proclaiming that no one else should bring a cake!
I effusively exclaimed to Greg that I was “making Sandra a red velvet cake for her birthday”; it’s Christmas, you know, and the cake is red. This prompted his recollection that I hadn’t made him a birthday cake in August, or last year, or the prior year, etc. My guilty conscience turned out to be a good thing, as I have no experience making red velvet cakes. Greg got his birthday cake four months late, but the “practice” cake was delicious nonetheless.
Now, for the last 50 years, I have been taking the lazy way out in making cakes, happily and thoughtlessly pouring cake batter into 9” x 13” pans instead of making layer cakes, with the philosophy “I’m not foolin’ with layer cakes”—it’s a cake, we’re just eating it anyway.
At any rate, I learned some important things about layer cakes. They have to be cut off totally flat to stay together and not slide off the layer below. But, it is even better to cut the tops off a little concave, which I could have been practicing even when I didn’t need a layer cake. You will end up cutting off one-third of the cake, so it might be good to make two cakes, so there are extra layers to work with. You can either throw away the trimmed off cake, or you can recycle it as chopped up cake and eat it at every meal (which is the method we used as we never throw away food). Sometimes it takes half a century to learn simple baking tips. And, red velvet cakes are indeed worth the wait; the batter is shocking, atomic red. And, it is a good thing to make your husband a birthday cake every year, preferably a layer cake. And, this cake really has a short-cut and takes only two bottles of red food coloring. And I made up my own frosting recipe because I couldn’t find a recipe that was just right. And this will take every plate, pan, knife, fork, cookie sheet, and bowl you have before the cake is done (Greg washes the dishes at this house); plus three hours to cut the layers, trim the layers, and measure the layers; admire your cutting and trimming ability and after every layer, ask your husband if he doesn’t think you can really trim, cut, and measure cakes; make the frosting; stick the layers together; and carefully carry the cake plate which is extremely heavy and slippery, so that photographs can be taken.
The cake has not yet been presented to Sandra. Hopefully, there are no mishaps from my house to the car to the clinic via the freeway, which is another horrible story, and from my car to the staff meeting. Wish me luck! And, Happy Birthday, Sandra!
1 comment:
I can report that the cake did make it out to the car without being dropped or sliding off the plate. This is a minor miracle given my wife's propensity to drop things!
I didn't really have to complain TOO much to get my four months belated birthday cake. I just sort of mumbled about Sandra getting a special cake when I got none, and Elaine made me a cake.
What she didn't mention is the REAL reason I got a cake at all was so she could practice making a Red Velvet cake! But hey, whatever it takes to get some cake, right?
What she also failed to mention is that she is able to dirty every plate, pan, knife, fork, cookie sheet, and bowl we own at EVERY meal. I've never seen anything like it! Tuesday I had a root canal done, so all I ate was some Lipton chicken noodle soup. I still ran the dishwasher...twice!
But I love her madly, so I eat chopped up cake, tell her she is indeed quite the cake maker and wash dishes endlessly!
Now if I can just talk her into making me some fried chicken...
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